Puffed and Reckless

Quite a bit has surfaced over the last few weeks concerning, one, John Friend, and the resulting fallout around the system he developed entitled "Anusara".  Even with a current limited reading I felt that I needed to express myself about this matter and my experience (in brief) with Anusara, even as the tale (full of sound and fury) unfolds in more twisted and convoluted forms.
When I first came across the Anusara method of Yoga I was looking for a certification program to help organize what I had been teaching at the local Y for a few years. I had by 2006 roughly 12 year of Pilates training and teaching (mentor Julian Littleford of JL Bodyconditioning, Inc.), some dabbling in the martial arts world and Qi Gong.  In April of 2003 the Y had asked me to start teaching a yoga class and with my background in patterns found in the above mentioned systems I was able to put together something that looked like a yoga class. Armed with a copy of Pantajali's Yoga Sutras and Iyengars "Light on Yoga" I bravely ventured into the world of Encinitas Yoga.
I had no idea what kind of shit was about to go down (a nod to Bob Dylan).
I had been exposed to New Age thought (everthing from Madam Blavatsky to Kryon to Edgar Cayce, Seth and Egyptian Tarot, Erik van Daniken et al from the 70's and 80's occult "in vogue" crowed) since the tender age of 15 and the grand and eloquent stories of the Bible (New and Old Testaments and various denominational interpretations thereof) for my entire life (from the womb on up or should I say "out"?).  Familiar with dogmatic thinking mixed with magical fantasy I thought all such jiggered  traits would simply fade with the wonderful teachings of love and light dawning on the light of my burgeoning consciousness.  Everyone would get along, truth would prevail, puppy dogs and Popsicles for all and sundry.  Amen.
Ah, but where humans and their basic character exists, so also does something wicked.  And by the pricking of my thumbs it came quickly.
I was at that time struggling with the faith of my Protestant/Baptist fathers and finding one too many holes in the story.  So many, in fact, that my "faith" leaked out all over the ground.  Here, I thought, with so many "spiritual" people I would find my home, fulfill my destiny, achieve enlightenment and not ever have to come back to this vale of tears again.
The cant of love and light, world peace and personal sacrifice to a higher good after awhile began to sound all too familiar.  Had I just changed my faith from Jesus to Shiva?  From Yahweh, that fierce god of the deserts to Brahma, the only One who is really Real? But hooks sunk in deep inducing one to follow the leader (more likely dragged along by my addictions both genetic and learned) who spoke with the most vehemence and authority are not easily removed.  Names are easy to change, hard wiring not so easy.
But I digress.
I landed at Zen Mountain Center in 2002 at a yoga workshop in my search for the "Way".  Cool.  Gotta love those Zennies.  Sit down and shut up.  Far out man.  But there has to be more so on I trudged. In my crises (don't laugh, we all have a crisis or two along the way) I went back up in April of 2004 and began my formal Zen training (does that make me a "Zennie"?  Are you ready to get whacked?).  The teachings of Maezumi Roshi as passed on through Charles Tenshin Fletcher, Roshi, began to give me an ease in my skin that the casuistic observations of the Encinitas yoga cabal had stirred up. So still being dragged (by the noose of Ganesha perchance?) I attended a workshop by a local Anusara Certified Teacher in April of 2006 (still questionable just how certified she really was at the time and why she never came clean with me about the matter until 2011. Hints don't count.  Cleverly phrased dissuasion's don't either.).  Whew, that was a long parentheses.
 Her manner of teaching (assured, bold, unhesitating as she declaimed her view of the universe), the weaving of a theme (probably some of the inane "heart opening" drivel that infests Anusara unto this day) throughout and the emphasis on alignment  left me with the feeling that here was something worth pursuing.  It also persuaded me to give up a neat sum of money.  I still think it was well spent.  On many levels.  And let the record stand in the eyes of the congregation of the righteous that I still consider her one of the best yogasana teachers hands down anywhere.  Other matters stand distinct from that (such as science, how to treat your allies and the uses of whiskey before and after class).
Where does ol. JF come into all of this?  He presented and evolved a beautiful way of not only doing yogasana, but opened a way for me (through her skill at teaching) to use these "principals" to bring to life the postures and see them in my life.  A different view of the world of yoga from northern India  was made available for my perusal (Kashmir Shaivism to be specific).  A view that was all inclusive of every aspect of my homo sapiens self without the attendant shame, guilt and repression that my upbringing and local yoga teachers emphasized. This all was really cool stuff, man.  JF held the bar high.  I felt challenged, honored even, to be engaged "the" avaunt guarde system of the day, nay of the epoch even. We were going to change the world! But he held the bar high, so high in fact that only by following a strict curriculum was one allowed to ascend to the throne of his specially elect.  I struggled for  five long years to reach that bar and was repeatedly told by my teacher that I was not good enough.  Bummer, huh?  Through all of this I persevered until the miasmic stench of a cultic mentality around JF became so pervasive I began backing away from another attempt at presenting myself for further evisceration. Here is a brief timeline as I perceive it.
In April of 2006 I discovered Anusara.  After graduating the basic Immersion, Teacher Training and Apprentice requirements I assisted in all but one Immersion series til the closing of the studio in August of 2011.
 In February of 2007 I met the man and was wowed along with everyone else. He wore his love like heaven.
In May of 2008 I found myself bored to tears with his grandstanding, personal myth embellishment and the endless clapping after someone born to do pretzel poses did just that.
I started getting nervous.
And then during 2010 the dam began to leak.
I really got nervous and after a final fit of enduring my teachers verbal torture I stepped back.
2011 JF boldly declared he was gonna take over where ol' Yogananda had left off (bad idea in Encinitas).
May of 2011. He personally declared to me that he was going to annex a local Anusara yoga studio to abet his new "The Center" that was across the street.  Literally, across the street.
That didn't happen.
The aforementioned Yoga studio closed August of 2011 amongst much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.
  September/October 2011. Teachers began to leave the Anusara fold for various reasons.  All of them saccharine and not necessarily honest (no longer in alignment?  Why not just tired of the bullshit and the sex games, the business ethics, the megalomania?  After all, he is just "human" isn't he?).  Kinda like the Iran-contra deal and Reagan's secret wars in Latin and South America.  They never happened did they.
Then it broke   Now a little over a moth ago. The whole shebang came crashing down.  I watched with disbelief as so much that was so good went so wrong so quickly.   I read the denials, the half-truths, the hidden innuendos, the bravado.  There are those who knew for years.  Woe unto them!  JF has been letting his knickers down for years and they stood by and did nothing?  I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about that.  Supporting and enabling a puffed and reckless libertine excuses no one with any labyrinthine platitude about his being human!  What is this nonsense about "practice being above all of that" and "its the good he did for yoga that counts not this recent slip, he is after all only human", "the practice teaches us to forgive and forget" and other such silly and vacuous statements.  Let us not forget his bragging (bragging?! Are we in a high school locker room?) about having sex with employees, married women, and others. Unethical business practices and for Pete's sake, who brings a camera to bed with your partner(s) save a narcissistic  heiress or rock n' roll star!  He's not Ken Stabler for goodness sakes! We expected that of the Quarterback of the infamous Raiders!  Now  we read JF wants to re-establish control from afar and go to Jerusalem to pray for world peace.  Are you kidding me? Alas, what's done cannot be undone.
As for me and my household, I will continue to use the principles and loops, the themes and study of the Kashmir sutras.  But I will also use common sense, and recognize the other centers in the body besides the heart.  Emphasizing one of three creates an imbalance and look what just tipped over.  Being honest I am a bit put out.  That's being honest.  Like when I discovered the lies inherent in Western Christianity, I was and am still perturbed.  I don't like it when people mess with my head. But I can recognize what is the wheat from the chaff.  I will set forth on my painted pony (not forgetting my handkerchief) and continue up the trail of Cold Mountain.  There are white clouds there I wish to see and I hear the view is great with plenty of room for all.
What will become of yoga in the West after this fresh round of lies and deceit?  My hope is that it will, like a dandelion come to seed, find a fresh wind to carry those seeds in many new directions.  Perchance a look at our own practice, demagogues and teachings from the East might show us a way to settle our hunter/gatherer instincts and bring about a pliability to our thinking as our environment changes.  In the meantime, the prelude has hardly ended.  Hang on to your hat, this could be a long ride down the rabbit hole.